Spank...spank...spank your wife...

SPANKING (according to Wikipedia)- "refers to the act of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain without producing physical injury. In some cultures, the spanking of a wife by her husband is considered acceptable forms of domestic discipline, though the practice is far less common than it used to be. In other contexts, the spanking of an adult can be considered a playful gesture during a social ritual or as a form of entertainment."

What is it about spanking that make this submissive turn to a compliant, soft lover or into a raging ball of sexual hormones? Well either can be accomplished quite easily depending on the setting and the tools. Sometimes when I've had a bad day or week for that matter, nothing would cure my sour mood than to be bent over and spanked, flogged or cropped till my ass is pink. There is something so captivating about spanking to be punished or just for maintenance. I'm all for maintenance, even though we don't currently practice it. I believe it's a good thing to connect in that way at least once a week, twice if you can manage it. I find it very hard to be submissive (in my own way) without a strong handed dominant. Everyone needs that grounding whatever role they have. I am a better person having to submit to someone. I get a little too big for my britches otherwise. :)

Today was one of those days that I needed some grounding/maintenance. I needed to be held down while He swatted my ass to remind me where I belong and who I belong to. I was feeling lovey and playful when I got home from work so I wrapped my arms around Him for a hug and bravely told Him that I needed something. I patted His ass and gave him the " pretty pretty please" look. ( why after all this time do have such a hard time telling him what I need but then I can talk about sex openly to anyone else? ) "unless your looking for my wallet, I know what you want". The nightly rituals got in the way and so there was no spanking to be had. Some pretty mild sex on the couch before going to bed. And yes I'm still cranky over the lack of spanking. What's a girl gotta do? Lol

Didn't sleep well at all, mostly because I woke up to the house being 45*. Brrrr. It's June! This is just uncalled for.

In other news, I'm thinking of asking Him if we could convert our downstairs spare bedroom into a little private space for us to use for "activities" after little man goes to bed. Right now our bedroom shares a wall with our sons bedroom which makes it very hard for anything too rigorous. Plus we have a metal framed bed = major squeakiness. I would love to get a four poster walnut bed preferably one with drawers underneath to store our assorted toys. How convenient! But alas that wont be happening unless we sell a kidney or something on the black market. I'd love some ideas if anyone has any for our new playroom (would have to be pg. rated to the vanilla persons eye though). I'm thinking some sort of storage under the bed and obviously some new toys to start us in the right direction. :) yes that's my excuse for getting some new ones and I'm sticking to it. Ive been wanting to have Him try a flogger or a riding crop for awhile now and I think He would really enjoy it. (it goes without saying that I would enjoy it too, especially since id be the receiving end). Who doesn't love new toys?

Happy weekend!

Balance

Is there such a thing as the perfect balance between home life, work life and sex life? I'm not so sure. This last week has been a good example of that. We started a new diet last week which has left one of us quite cranky (it's not me). The work week was a tough one, between customers and coworkers I was ready to pull my hair out with all the tension (don't worry, I didn't, but He just about did) Thank goodness it was a three day weekend and we spent it with family for the most part. Saturday we went out for dinner with His family to celebrate our nephews graduation. The problem was that we went to a steak restaurant and we were only allowed to have up to 7oz of meat :( This did not sit well with Him because He is a steakoholic. Having to limit what He ate was really hard and put Him in a pretty foul mood. I had hoped we would go see a movie or go out somewhere but instead we ended up back at our vanilla friends house to watch a UFC fight on payperview. Now I am really into UFC but no one of particular interest to me was fighting that night and I promptly fell asleep on their couch. (Exciting I know) Awhile later i was woken up and taken home to bed (not in that way you perverts lol) no sex that night. ...And that was our date night. :(

Sunday was a better day, we slept in a bit, had some "play time" and then went swimming at my parents. That morning when I woke up I was still a little miffed for not putting our date night to better use. The lack of sex specifically. A few moments later He woke up and asked me if I was still mad at him for last night. Yes! Of course I was, I needed a night on the town and some kinkery and instead I got a crabby husband and a nap on my friends couch.

I rolled over on my stomach and put my face in my pillow to pout a bit. Bad idea. He let me lay there a minute and stew, then I felt my nighty (lovely little dark purple and black lace trimmed nighty) being inched up over my thighs and ass. Smack! He spanked my left cheek quite hard and I let out a yelp/moan. Then the other side. Back and forth till I was moaning and pulling at the headboard. He obviously knows what gets me going. Then I was ordered to kneel on the bed with my ass toward the edge of the bed and told to stay put. Of course like a good girl I stayed right where I was, ass up and face down on the mattress. I could hear Him rummaging around in the toy drawer as if He could find what He wanted "why isn't that big dildo here?" "ummm it's downstairs" "and why is it downstairs?" looking shameful..."because I was playing with myself". I knew I was in trouble because He didn't say another word as he walked back to my side of the bed. WACK! He smacked my ass square on with our Singapore Stinger and continued striping my ass with each blow. Damn that stung. I couldn't see it but i could tell my ass was turning pink with every one Then He started giving me little swats on the inside of my thighs working his way towards my pussy. By this time I was writhing on the bed waiting for Him to actually touch me. He grabbed me by the hair and told me to stay still and just take it. Then He gave me a swat right on my clit. Oh my goodness. I just about came right then, I was more than wet and willing. Finally He put down the stinger and thrust His full length into me. He grabbed my hair in one hand and held my face with the other. He slammed into my pussy and pulled my hair so hard, I couldn't focus on the pain because it felt so good. He continued abusing my pussy until with a audible pop he pulled out and started to force His way into my ass without giving me a moment to protest. He was so hard and unrelenting. Gripping my hips as He rode my ass like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't hold out any longer and let myself orgasm -without permission :) my grip on him pushed Him over the edge as He emptied His cum deep into me. We both fell onto the bed spent and satisfied.

I couldn't be mad anymore for the night before, good steamy sex will do that to a woman. And yes I was walking funny for awhile, but it was so worth it.

Hungry, hurting and horny.

Im not at all sad to see this week end. Why? Well, it hasn't been the most fabulous week so far. We will be starting a new diet in our household this next week, which means my days of eating squeeze cheese and crackers for lunch and lucky charms cereal for dinner are numbered. :( This diet has gained quite a bit of popularity around here for its wonderful results, even though I've heard it's a little difficult to get used to. It's very strict, we're talking no carbs, no sugar, no fruit, and no dairy. Which means I have to start drinking my coffee black instead of my usual flavored and sweetened deliciousness. (a slight grumbling can be heard already) I have warned my coworkers to expect some food related bitchiness. We will be surviving on 5 oz of meat a day along with 4 cups of vegetables and unlimited lettuce (whoopty do). I might as well just change my name to bugs bunny right now. Hubby and I could stand to both lose about 40 lbs each. What is it about marriage or long term relationships that make you gain weight? Is it comfort in knowing you already got them? laziness? or an obsession with food? (okay, that last one is just me) At least this is only a short term diet and not a lifetime commitment. Good thing because I can only stay away from pasta for so long. I'm looking forward to possibly getting back some energy and (with some devine intervention) single digit clothing sizes.

In other news, hubby hurt his neck sleeping. Okay, not really. He took a nap on the couch and when he went to get up he felt something in his neck pull and now has been banned from work until he can see his dr and get an all clear. Getting myself a dr appointment is ridiculous. Call as soon as they open and hope to get a call back sometime in the next week, but He had no problem. Called, they said come in tomorrow. SEXISM! Okay, not really but it's not fair. I have to be just about dead before they let me come in. I'm feeling kinda whiney today, can you tell?

Tonight we had dinner according to our new rules. It was pretty good actually except that I still think mushrooms are nasty. Bleh. Now we will do our usual nighttime rituals of reading our son a book and putting him to bed. I do believe an early bedtime and some freaky business for Him and I is a wonderful idea.

And off I go to do just that. ;)

Back in black/red.

Well I'm officially back after a few weeks of not being able to blog. It was just too hard to blog on my cell with the new layout. I got a new iPad from Him for mothers day so now its super easy. Except that now I spend way too much time on Facebook, pinterest, and playing cut the rope. I did manage to finally get our veggie garden planted today. I spent all yesterday weeding and tilling the ground while wearing a black tank top and gray shorts. (the color blank attracts the suns rays more than lighter colors) oops. That's how I ended up with a most unholy sunburn. I am red, not pink, red! It does hurt too bad (yet) but I just hope it fades to a lovely tan and doesn't peel off like usual.

We have been passing a cold back and forth and it's latest victim is Him. I filed a complaint with Him that there has not been enough sex going on around here. We have been crazy busy lately and sleep has trumped sex on the list of need to dos. My mother is going to have our son over one night this weekend for a sleepover so we will get at least one night to catch up on our play time. It's been so long since I had a good spanking and I'm feeling a bit insubordinate. I'd love to get a new paddle this week but we might just have to stick with the stinger until we get paid again. So last night I told Him I would be wearing his "favorite jammies" to bed (code word for sleeping naked) who doesn't love sleeping naked?its just so much more comfortable and... convenient. :) I was all revved up thinking we would finally get to have sex again (it's been awhile) after He got home from work. He crawled into bed around 3am and said He wasn't feeling good and wanted a rain check. At this point I was all hot and bothered from not having any sex lately and "no" was not really an option for me. So I asked if He would play with my nipples so that I could have a quick orgasm to tide me over till He felt better. He was happy to help me out and I had a nice little orgasm and was ready to go back to sleep when He told me that watching me had turned Him on and that He wanted me to use Him for my own pleasure (my inner sex freak was rubbing her hands together greedily). I slid myself down the bed and started to suck His cock. I really do love giving Him head. He has told me a few times that I'm a great cocksucker. I just wish He still made me suck Him off more often, to me there is no greater feeling than to be able to watch Him experiencing so much pleasure from my mouth. I got Him nice and slick because then I got on top and slid myself down onto His hard cock very slowly letting Him fill me. He has the most wonderful penis I have ever seen. It's just the right length, thick with a few veins and a nice plump head that hits all the right spots. I always wondered what His measurements were. Doesnt every guy do that at some point? I slowly rode and grinded myself to two amazing orgasms. I forgot how intense they can be when you are focused only on your own body. Mmm.. toe curling yumminess. After I got my breath back I slid back down to finish sucking Him off. It didn't take long for Him to orgasm with me sucking just the way He likes it but it took me by surprise when he started cumming and it hit me in the face. My first ever facial and I didnt actually mind except for needing to wash it out of my hair.

Wearing His "favorite jammie's" again tonight. :)

Bleh

What a horrid day! Massive migraine this morning followed by insane outbursts and general unpleasantness of my job. Somedays I catch myself looking for the brick wall that I seem to be constantly butting my head against. Thankfully there was a light at the end of the tunnel. A new fabulous hairdo!

I change my hair so often its ridiculous. I just get bored with looking the same. Some days you look and feel like a goddess and others you feel like a overweight hermit. Now I just need some new shoes. I do have a sexy pair of black and red pumps that need to make their debut sometime soon. The problem is what to pair them with? Hmmm ill have to give that some thought.

One more day of work and then I'll have some freedom. Garage sales, shopping, good food and hopefully some relaxing is on the agenda. Somewhere in there Im sure we will slip in some sex.

Or maybe we could just take a nap. I think I'm starting to feel a bit hermit-ish.

Who, what, and why?

There are times that I think about how I got to this point in life. I never planned on being a submissive, it's really not something you try to do. I didn't just wake up one day thinking " hmmm I think I'd like to be punished when I do something wrong". When I first realized where I was headed, I took to the internet to find answers. BAD IDEA! I found everything from daddy issues to mental illness. Which I have neither. Ok I might have some daddy issues but thats a whole nother story (which won't be told here).

Becoming a submissive was a gradual thing. It started with my first serious relationship. He wanted to be topped and while it was fun and sexy I just couldn't relate. It was like playing dress up, I wasn't that person and was only pretending for him. Eventually he caught on that it wasn't a natural role for me and we switched. I guess he was my first official dominant. We never used those identifiers though, BDSM wasnt in the media and as well known then. I learned a lot about what I liked and what I needed to be satisfied. The relationship didn't end well. I think in the end we had both only pretended to be happy all along.

I was involved for a short time with someone who I was totally honest with about my submissive side. We were not a good match but it was very freeing to speak openly about it without the fear of judgement. No matter the amount of love two people have for each other there will always be doubt. Will we make it? Will this finally be the real deal? Can I share the most private things about myself and not be judged?

I believe sex is a very important part of a good relationship, and in the past whenever the sex was lacking I'd feel undeserving and unattractive. Now I'm trying to learn to submit to HIM and makes my needs known. It did take me years to really start to be honest about my needs as a submissive, which we are only now getting deeper into. I wonder if its an ingrained thing for naturally submissive people to have such a hard time talking about our needs? Seems that way to me at least.

So now here we are going on 3yrs of marriage and trying to muddle our way through all of this. It's freeing to share my deepest wishes and thoughts. Yes I'm still scared of the unknown but id rather be myself and be afraid of what happens next than to pretend to be someone else.

Some days just suck

Today was one of those days that wears you down. The kind that suck your energy, making you want to curl up in bed and try again tomorrow. Saw something today at work that really made me sad (Can't explain what it was because of my job). I really hope im not the only one that is affected by other people's struggles. I know what it feels like to try so hard to just have everything crash down on you anyway. A friend of mine is going through that now and I just want to hug her and make it all go away.  :(

On a less sad note, this coming weekend is townwide garage sales in my parents town. So I will be gleefully dragging HIM around from house to house in search of treasures. I'm all a twitter just thinking about it. Then we are off to town to visit my beloved Target. Dinner at home followed by either falling asleep on the couch or having some very quiet sex after our son goes to bed. It's about a 70/30 chance that ill be asleep under a blanket while HE plays the xbox before 9pm. Oh the wild and crazy life we lead!

Is my sarcasm too obvious? :)