After a long talk last night with Him I'm feeling sad and alone. This is one of those times I wish I had someone that does TTWD to talk to. I appreciate all the people that come here to read and comment and of course the silent readers too. If it wasn't for all of you I think I would go batty.
I have been feeling very unsettled lately, like we are on two different planets. I crave more submission, not in our play (because that has been AMAZING!) But in our daily life. We get so little time together during the work week that by the weekend I'm wound up, annoyed and just plain unpleasant. I need to feel His presence even when we can't be together, for my own sanity. I tried (poorly) to explain that last night and I don't feel like I was very successful. I went to bed with a heavy heart. I always feel so stupid and clumsy when I try to open myself up. I get that TTWD was basically just dropped in His lap, I have lived this life for a long time and desperately wanted to share it with Him. I wouldn't have married Him if I didn't think He could be my Dominant some day.
I just wish I had been honest from the beginning, maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm drowning now. Who knows?
