SPANKING (according to Wikipedia)- "refers to the act of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain without producing physical injury. In some cultures, the spanking of a wife by her husband is considered acceptable forms of domestic discipline, though the practice is far less common than it used to be. In other contexts, the spanking of an adult can be considered a playful gesture during a social ritual or as a form of entertainment."
What is it about spanking that make this submissive turn to a compliant, soft lover or into a raging ball of sexual hormones? Well either can be accomplished quite easily depending on the setting and the tools. Sometimes when I've had a bad day or week for that matter, nothing would cure my sour mood than to be bent over and spanked, flogged or cropped till my ass is pink. There is something so captivating about spanking to be punished or just for maintenance. I'm all for maintenance, even though we don't currently practice it. I believe it's a good thing to connect in that way at least once a week, twice if you can manage it. I find it very hard to be submissive (in my own way) without a strong handed dominant. Everyone needs that grounding whatever role they have. I am a better person having to submit to someone. I get a little too big for my britches otherwise. :)
Today was one of those days that I needed some grounding/maintenance. I needed to be held down while He swatted my ass to remind me where I belong and who I belong to. I was feeling lovey and playful when I got home from work so I wrapped my arms around Him for a hug and bravely told Him that I needed something. I patted His ass and gave him the " pretty pretty please" look. ( why after all this time do have such a hard time telling him what I need but then I can talk about sex openly to anyone else? ) "unless your looking for my wallet, I know what you want". The nightly rituals got in the way and so there was no spanking to be had. Some pretty mild sex on the couch before going to bed. And yes I'm still cranky over the lack of spanking. What's a girl gotta do? Lol
Didn't sleep well at all, mostly because I woke up to the house being 45*. Brrrr. It's June! This is just uncalled for.
In other news, I'm thinking of asking Him if we could convert our downstairs spare bedroom into a little private space for us to use for "activities" after little man goes to bed. Right now our bedroom shares a wall with our sons bedroom which makes it very hard for anything too rigorous. Plus we have a metal framed bed = major squeakiness. I would love to get a four poster walnut bed preferably one with drawers underneath to store our assorted toys. How convenient! But alas that wont be happening unless we sell a kidney or something on the black market. I'd love some ideas if anyone has any for our new playroom (would have to be pg. rated to the vanilla persons eye though). I'm thinking some sort of storage under the bed and obviously some new toys to start us in the right direction. :) yes that's my excuse for getting some new ones and I'm sticking to it. Ive been wanting to have Him try a flogger or a riding crop for awhile now and I think He would really enjoy it. (it goes without saying that I would enjoy it too, especially since id be the receiving end). Who doesn't love new toys?
Happy weekend!
Yes well, I'm a slut for spanks. I think it has something to do with feeling taken care of. I attach too much sexual feelings with spanking so we decided that we wouldn't use that as punishment. Besides I'm such an over-achiever that just the thought of disappointing someone is enough to make me weep buckets. I'm not sure that's healthy (no way to purge and move on with clean slate etc) but that's how I am. So he doesn't want me to start associating spanking with feelings of inadequacy (he's probably right, I would...) so now to keep me on the straight and narrow he's set it up so that I get spanked whenever we meet - as an incentive. Rather than a deterrent.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that's what maintenance means for you - but maybe you can set it up so that you're not in a constant state of waiting and wanting? Eg, just some smacks every night before bed? That keeps you satisfied somewhat, knowing it's part of your nightly rituals?
*sorry for the long post*
That's a good idea, ill have to share that with Him unless he has already read this. :) I have a hard time not associating spanks with sex too, I would really like to be able to learn to separate the two. Especially before the spanking started I was a internalizer. I let all my doubts and worries build up till I exploded, but your right, I feel taken care of and cherished after and during a spanking. Then I'm able to relax knowing that He understands my needs and knows how to get me to unwind.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time the spanking is almost more of a foreplay anyway. We don't get much time together (we work different shifts and different days) so I think if we were able to spread the spanking out more like you said then maybe I wouldnt have the feelings of detachment in between sessions.
No apology needed. Advice and commentary is always appreciated.
Good Luck!! In our case, since I can't disassociate spanks with sex, we decided not to and just go with it.
DeleteSo spanks (as foreplay) = what a good girl you've been. here's a reward.
Rather than - you've been disobedient so I'm going to spank you as punishment.
Having said that you have to figure yourself out - this only works if you're the kind of person who'll strive to do the right thing for reward. (I'm incentive driven...)
And having sex with NO spanks would be TOO depressing for me. So I'm really eager to keep up the good behaviour.
I love spanking, the tingly feeling on my butt feels so warm. Makes me feel alive.Pain mixed with pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI hope by you lack of participation from your spouse that he is not normally into I anytime. I love to give a good spanking. My ex wife use to inclue it in our evening rituals. At on point I considered it as equal as any form of foreplay. I introduced her to many sexual activities throughout our relationship. She became a very good submissive woman. I do not know what your sexual preferences are but you should consider restraints such as swings or piping for wall tie downs. She use to like it best when I tied and gaged her to a wall in the cold basement and took my time showing her who's boss in this house. Now as for you noise problem. I found insulation works best for an un furnished basement in a budget. Egg cartons give a great sound break to resist noise.
ReplyDeleteHappy pushment!!